Memorial Day weekend is fading in the rearview mirror, and we’ve ventured outside to commemorate those who gave their lives in service to their country. Summer is as officially “open for business” as it can be in this year of coronavirus. But there’s a lesser-known occasion coming up that the average American celebrates three times… Read More

Maurice Fayne, did you think you would get away with it? Did you think styling yourself “Arkansas Mo” on a show like VH1’s “Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta” made you the kind of guy who can pull a con on the down low? When you borrowed $2,045,800 from the Paycheck Protection Program, did you really… Read More

In 1914, Woodrow Wilson signed a proclamation designating the second Sunday in May as Mother’s Day. Ever since then, Americans have spent that day destroying Mom’s kitchen in the name of breakfast in bed, tramping through her garden in the name of bringing her flowers, and making up for the phone calls and compliments they… Read More

American law schools sponsor over 200 law reviews: dense collections of grim, wooden prose, groaning with footnotes. (Chief Justice John Roberts once said “Pick up a copy of any law review that you see, and the first article is likely to be, you know, the influence of Immanuel Kant on evidentiary approaches in 18th Century… Read More

  Life comes at you fast. Two months ago, the Dow was flirting with 30,000, unemployment was at 3.5%, and the economy was looking forward to spring with the rest of us. Today, of course, we’ve put the economy in a medically-induced coma. People who are trapped at home with cranky partners and children are… Read More

Don’t Count Your Chickens… A couple of weeks ago, we wrote about the great toilet paper shortage of 2020. It gave us a great opportunity to indulge in the sort of lowbrow humor that made MAD magazine such a hit with 10-year-old boys. The problem turns out to be simple. Toilet paper makers produce two… Read More

  Our calendar is full of “Hallmark holidays”: meaningless commemorations and celebrations, usually created by marketers and publicists. Just this month, there’s National Talk Like Shakespeare Day, National Hug a Plumber Day, and National Wear Pajamas to Work Day. (That last one may not feel like a celebration right now). Food fans have National Burrito… Read More

Coronavirus has turned millions of Americans who used to laugh at the doomsday preppers on National Geographic into converts. Your neighborhood supermarket is working overtime to keep shelves stocked as panicked shoppers rush to settle in for stay-at-home orders. And the first item to disappear was . . . (checks notes) . . . toilet… Read More

Millions of us who are staying at home in this time of coronavirus are discovering to our dismay just how much the clown car of halfwits, freaks, and grotesques of “reality TV” has taken over our living rooms. The endless parade of bachelors, teen moms, real housewives, and Kardashians have slowly sapped at our dignity.… Read More

  The Cambridge Dictionary defines “digging your own grave” to mean doing “something that causes you harm, sometimes serious harm.” Kids who don’t do their homework, politicians who cut popular spending programs, and people who overshare on social media all dig their own grave in one way or another. It’s not every day that someone… Read More